HOORAY! FORCED TO WEAR A MACHINE THAT FORCES ME TO BREATHE SO I CAN *ACTUALLY* SLEEP!

sleep apnea will become the death of me if i continue to let this shit go on. ah well- not like i have much guaranteed to live for anymore. douglas told me that i kept stopping breathing last night and i remember when i'd sleep at my grandma's house when she was still alive, my grandma would get scared all the time when i would sleep and she'd wake me up to check if i was still breathing because she claimed there were times when i was sleeping that i would stop breathing. so it'd probably be useful to get those cpap tubes in the mail soon, so i don't have to sleep without a damn machine basically forcing me to breath while i sleep. i'm not overweight and i've never smoked a cigarette in my whole life. so i'm pretty sure this is a side effect to one of the many surgeries i've had to have on my palet (because it was injured in the car accident i was in). so it's not like I did anything to get this damn sleep apnea and it's inconveniencing as fuck. not to forget- mu grandma and mom BOTH have apnea- so my genetics fuck me again. i have to have a damn machine forcing me to breathe in order to sleep and i'm not even 40 years old yet (2 more months). half the time i don't even wear that shit and i haven't worn it for a while because the piece of shit turns off within like 2 minutes. they're hoping that the new tubing i'm supposed to get in the mail will solve that problem though.